I went to dinner at GSIL's house the other night. While she was cooking, we were munching on grilled eggplant. By munching, I mean we ate the whole damn thing. Fun fact about eggplant? High in fiber.
Fast forward 2 hours and we are all sitting around the dinner table, finishing our meals and drinking wine.
I was involved in a hearty conversation when I felt... well... a rumble. Correction, I felt a friggin' earthquake.
The stomach cramps that followed were the kind that suck the blood out of your face. The kind that give you full body sweats, curled toes and eventually leave you begging for death. All of this while sitting at the dinner table.
We only live a few houses down from GSIL & BIL. I had a general idea of what my future held and bolted for the door. There was no way I was going to endure the humiliation that surely would have followed had I relieved myself in their bathroom.
As I was running down the sidewalk, I realized that I was Charlotte from Sex & The City. Crying and running and praying and holding my butt cheeks together.
Thankfully, my story has a happy ending. Unlike Charlotte, I did not shit my pants. I made it home, tripped over two very confused bulldogs and landed just in time.
But, I was *thisclose* to poughkeepsieing my pants in my own driveway.
Moral of the story? Know thy veggies. Or fruit. Or whatever. What the fuck is an eggplant? Oh, right, it's evil.
Never mind, moral changed. Know thy enemy.
4 comments:
I would have died laughing if you would have shit your pants! :)
Hahahahahahaha this totally happened to me once at my neighbor's house! Thank GOD I live just down the street!!
Hysterical and I totally know the feeling. It's awful. So glad you were so close to home.
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!
Oh my goodness! I have had my Charlotte moments as well! At least we can identify with a movie character during such an embarassing moment!
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