Monday 7:15 amI am deeply and comfortably asleep. I don't have to be up until 8 and that's only to catch a spin class at my gym.
My bedroom is at the ideal sleeping temperature and the ceiling fan is blowing just right. My pillow is positioned in the precise neck to face ratio. My sheets have not become tangled and are aligned with the comforter. All is right with the world.
Vom. Vom. Vom.
I scrunch my eyebrows together and foggily try to place that noise.
No. Too early. Don't care.
Vom. Vom. Vom.
OK. What the fuck IS that?! I am awake and listening intently, but still refusing to open my eyes. Maybe it will stop and go away.
Vom. Vom. Vommmmmit!
I open my eyes just in time to watch Brutus puke his doggie guts out. The noises I refused to acknowledge had been the poor guy dry heaving for 20 minutes.
What did Brutus spew all over his bed? Well, there was the normal grass, stomach juices, bits of dog food, and the like.
Not normal?
A pair of my thong panties. One of my favorites, actually.
You want to talk about a horrible game of "which of these dose not belong with the others?"
So, it is now 7:30 and I am up, stripping dog beds, doing laundry, mourning the loss of my undies, and trying not to get sick myself. The smell of dog vom mixed with partially digested Victoria's Secret underwear is rancid.
You would think the dumbass dog would learn. It's not the first time he has done this and I doubt it will be the last. Husband would ask why I haven't learned to stop leaving my clothes on the bathroom floor.
Whatever.
4 comments:
Mia has chewed at my undies but has never swallowed a pair whole...lol :)
Oh no! Luckily Bailey doesn't have the underwear fetish that my last roommates dog had. That dog also pooped out half of a ten dollar bill once. So upsetting!
OH MY GOSH! I have never heard of a dog actually swallowing underwear! What a sad way to start the day, but at least he was ok!
My MILs yorkie does the same thing...I've learned to always zip my bag closed when spending the night.
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